


the best soy latte that you've ever had (and me)

by whereisthebepis (inlightofvisa)



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 01, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, also i can't tag my writing for my life the end, god all these tags make this seem like it's just porn, i promise it's not porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:24:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlightofvisa/pseuds/whereisthebepis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days following the explosion at Meat Cute, Major doesn’t leave his room. Ravi’s tried to coax him out with food, video games, and even trips to the bars to pick up chicks, but nothing really seems to work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the best soy latte that you've ever had (and me)

**Author's Note:**

> Lord Jesus have mercy on my soul. I don't really know where any of this came from but HERE HAVE THESE FEELINGS I HAVE ABOUT THESE STUPID IDIOTS BEING IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY ARE.
> 
> NOTE: I WAS BAD AT RESEARCH. THEREFORE THIS REPRESENTATION OF ADHD IS YOUR STEREOTYPICAL LAYPERSON'S KNOWLEDGE AND IS NOT WHAT ADHD IS. I apologize to anyone who was put off by this. 
> 
> A huge thank you to [ircarcarr](http://www.ircarcarr.tumblr.com) for beta-ing this, and also [zubinelgenubi](http://www.zubinelgenubi.tumblr.com) for entertaining this thing in its very fledgling form.
> 
> Title is from "Drops of Jupiter" by Train.

In the days following the explosion at Meat Cute, Major doesn’t leave his room. Ravi’s tried to coax him out with food, video games, and even trips to the bars to pick up chicks, but nothing really seems to work. So Ravi turns to work, but even there Liv is quiet on an exceedingly professional level. She busies herself with the autopsies, eats her way through a minimal number of brains (one, to be exact), and resolutely stays away from the refrigerator that held the cure. Speaking of which, the cure is MIA—the space on the refrigerator shelf where it once sat is resoundingly empty.

Peyton’s still missing as well, and it takes all of two days of absolute radio silence in Ravi-land to make him snap.

“Okay, you’re terrifyingly quiet, especially since I know you’re on ADHD brain,” he says. Liv looks up at him from across the way where she’s stitching up the latest autopsy. Her hands are thankfully still steady, although the threading is a little erratic.

“…I don’t have anything to say,” she says, turning back to look at her work and frowning a bit at the uneven spacing between stitches. “And I probably shouldn’t be trying to multitask, given that I am on ADHD brain.”

“Well then,” Ravi says, pulling his gloves off with a snap, “let me know when you’re less occupied to talk about where the cure went. All two samples of it.”

Liv’s hands still and her head snaps up, locking eyes with him.

“Uh,” she says, placing the needle down on the autopsy table with a clink. Her fingers twiddle with the excess twine. “A lot of stuff happened. You know that the charcuterie place blew up? Because it blew up. And Blaine was involved. And my brother’s in the hospital and I can’t give him my zombie blood.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything about the cure,” Ravi says, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m getting there,” Liv says, flailing her arms suddenly. The Hagedorn needle goes airborne for a couple seconds before being jerked back like a dog on its leash. “There was just… a lot of stuff happened.”

“You said that already,” Ravi says. He waits a beat before the pieces start to slide into place. “Did you use the cure on Blaine?”

Liv nods fervently before her face shifts to a slightly panicked expression. “I can explain! I can explain why he needed to be unzombified!”

Ravi folds his arms, pulling them against his chest as if to tamp down on the hurt that comes bubbling to the surface. “Well, Blaine is basically an invincible zombie who takes at-risk children off the streets of Seattle to become brain food for his clients. Curing him makes a lot of sense.”

“He also killed Major,” Liv says before covering her mouth with her hands. She makes a face as the gloves touch her cheeks, scrubbing at her skin with her lab coat.

“He _what_?”

“Uh.” Liv continues to scrub at herself, hands frantic. “He, uh, killed Major. And then I turned Major into a zombie and then used the cure on him.”

“And you didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell me why?”

“Because I was already dealing with enough stuff?!” Liv says. “My brother’s still in the hospital because I can’t give him my goddamn zombie blood, and my ex-fiancé now hates me and I can’t look my mom in the face because I’m killing my brother!” She takes a wheezing breath. “I’m going to go clean up in the bathroom.”

“Liv,” Ravi calls after her, uncrossing his arms. “Liv!” He sighs deeply, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure I want to be in on the loop anymore,” he mutters, pulling his gloves off and throwing them into the waste bin.

Liv comes back from the bathroom smelling strongly of soap. “Ravi, I’m sorry about earlier—“

Ravi stops her with a hand and gestures for her to come closer. “I’m sorry for prying,” he says quietly as he hugs her. “I had no idea all this stuff was going on with you.”

“It’s pretty much all my fault that this shit is happening,” Liv mumbles into his lab coat. “I got really selfish with Major, the cure, with everything.”

Ravi pulls back from her, rubbing her arms in what he hopes is a comforting manner. “If it makes you feel any better about the cure situation, I still have notes. What kind of scientist would I be if I didn’t keep a record?”

Liv laughs wetly, weakly pumping her fist in the air. “Now if only you had a time machine,” she says.

“I can’t have all the answers,” Ravi jokes, scratching at his beard. “But what _you_ can have is the rest of the day off. You have a lot of stuff to sort through.”

Liv chuckles again, wiping at her eyes. “Thanks Ravi,” she says as she gathers her belongings. “I’m really glad that you're being so understanding.”

Ravi waves her out the door.

 

 

 

 

When he pulls into the driveway after work, Ravi notices that Major’s room light is on. Which isn’t different than normal, but it’s still good to know that his friend is alive. Possibly.

“Major?” he calls when he enters the house. “You here?” There’s no answer. Again, standard for the past few days. Ravi makes his way up the stairs to Major’s bedroom and knocks on the door. “Major?”

After a few more seconds of silence, he hesitantly grabs the knob and gives it a turn. The door opens easily, aside from the small squeak of the hinge. Major’s in bed, facing away from the threshold. Surprisingly, the room doesn’t smell. Any food that’s been eaten has been cleared away, the floor is free of clothing, and there’s no trace of body odor. A miracle, considering that every time Major gets back from the gym, he reeks.

“Major,” Ravi says, tiptoeing closer to the bed. “Hey.”

“Don’t wanna talk,” Major grumbles, smushing himself farther into the covers and away from the open doorway.

“You haven’t wanted to talk for the two days,” Ravi says, “and I miss you. C’mon man, say something to me.”

“I said that I don’t want to,” Major grouses again. “Can you please get out of my room?”

Ravi looks skyward and fumbles for Major’s shoulder through the duvet. He manages to slightly get ahold of it and tries to roll his friend over. “It’s my duty,” he says between grunts, “as your roommate and as your friend to get you out of this funk.”

“No it’s _not_ ,” Major growls, doing his absolute best to resist. “Just leave me alone!”

The two tussle for a few more seconds before Ravi gets Major to face him. A streak of platinum blond curls its way through Major’s bangs. Ravi blinks a bit before carefully placing his fingers on Major’s neck. Major’s pulse beats steadily beneath warm skin, and it’s all Ravi can do to stop from punching the air.

“What are you doing?” Major asks, voice still grumpy. He pushes himself so he’s sitting up against the headboard, shirtless chest exposed to the air.

“It worked!” Ravi shouts, jumping up from the bed, giddy. “It really worked! The cure!”

Major blinks at him before realization dawns in his eyes and his brow furrows. “You knew about zombies too,” he says darkly. Ravi doesn’t have any time to defend himself before Major sweeps out of the covers, still shirtless, and backs him into the wall. “I thought I was going crazy!” Major yells. “I stalked this psycho lunatic for weeks, almost got killed by him, checked into a mental hospital, got killed for real, and then got turned into a zombie by the girl I thought I loved! And now this?!”

Ravi holds his hands up. “Major, look, can I just—”

“I can’t believe you, Ravi,” Major sighs, slumping his shoulders in defeat. His voice drops to almost a whisper. “You’ve been the only real constant I’ve had through all this bullshit, and I can’t believe you didn’t tell me either.”

“Hey,” Ravi says. “If you’ll just give me a second here to defend myself, I wanted to tell you. I really did. And I almost did, but Liv didn’t want me to, and we thought that the mental hospital would be theoretically safer for you than the zombie-infested streets of Seattle.”

Major snorts.

“And technically I did cure you,” Ravi adds, bringing his hands back down.

“Yeah,” Major says. “So I really don’t know how to feel about you right now.”

Ravi waits a beat before stepping forward into Major’s space and wrapping him up in a hug. “Let’s start with this,” he says against Major’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about zombies, I’m super glad you’re okay, and I’m really ecstatic that my cure worked.”

“I’m sorry about Peyton,” Major says quietly. “Thanks for indirectly curing me,” he adds a beat later.

“And for the record, I like the little white streak in your hair,” Ravi says, pulling back just enough to trace the color with his thumb. “It’s a little reminder that my science really worked.”

“And that I survived getting zombified,” Major says, his breath ghosting against Ravi’s skin. Ravi jerks his arm and slams back into the wall, the stretch of skin that had been in contact with Major’s shirtless torso burning like hot sauce.

“I---uh, yeah,” Ravi stutters nervously. He can feel his own blood pulsing angrily through his cheeks, skin ablaze. “I’m glad that you survived.”

There’s an awkward beat where Ravi tries not to notice the rise and fall of Major’s chest as he breathes. “So,” he laughs.

“I guess it’s my turn to make dinner,” Major says finally.

“Yeah,” Ravi says, blinking as he looks back up at Major’s face. “That would be… uh. Nice.”

* * *

 

Major doesn’t talk much during the meal. He does, however, voice his joy over not having a desire to eat brains, which is a plus in Ravi’s book. Pretty much anything that gets Major talking is a plus at this point. Ravi volunteers to wash the dishes, but Major insists on it because, like Liv’s said, he’s a saint. Or something close to one.

“I let my shit pile up,” he says, grabbing the sponge. “So let me take care of getting things kind of back to normal here.”

“It’s really hard to be upset with you for that when I’ve been so worried about you the past few days,” Ravi says, hefting the last of the dishes from the table to the sink. “There was the night before the explosion, and then the whole… hermit thing.”

Major shrugs. “I mean, I did just learn that my ex-fiancée was a zombie. That whole… thing was just a living nightmare.” He chuckles a bit at his own joke, hands settle back into a steady rhythm with the sponge, suds, and flatware, an occasional clump of soap bubbles getting thrown back onto his shirt.

“Well,” Ravi says awkwardly, “as cliché as it may sound, I’m here for you. Like I said earlier, I’m sorry for not telling you about zombies, and I’ve been really worried about you.”

Major switches the water off, brushing his hands against his jeans. “Well, thanks, but I think I’m okay now,” he says with a smirk. “You up for a round of Halo?”

Ravi can feel a grin crawling onto his face as they head towards the living room. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

* * *

The instant Ravi arrives at work the next day, he’s accosted by Liv. She’s almost definitely still on ADHD brain, arms still flailing and mouth firing off words like a Gatling gun.

“Do you happen to know anyone who has O negative blood?” she says, words a steady patter like rain on the streets. “I can’t just give my brother my zombie blood and expect him to still be okay, especially since that’d be turning him into a zombie without consent, and we all saw how well that went with Major. How is Major by the way?”

Ravi holds his hands up as if to physically hold each question. “Slow down there, buddy,” he says. “One thing at a time. I don’t remember if I know anyone who has O negative blood, although I’m sure we can check at the blood bank? And Major is… fine. He’s out of his room now and slowly getting back to his old self.” He counts the topics off on each of his fingers. “Was that everything?”

Liv slowly rocks up and down on her feet. “There was the issue of consent to zombification, but I think that’s not exactly something you’d have a lot of experience in,” she says. “I don’t think anyone really has any experience in it. Blaine did this to start an underground brain business syndicate, and I turned Sebastian by accident. And then Major was… my own selfish decision.” Liv starts to clench and unclench her hands, fingers turning a paler white with each squeeze. “I hate this.”

“Well,” Ravi says as he sweeps on his lab coat, “I think that one zombie brother is better than one dead brother. And I do have some notes on what I used for the cure last time, but I still want to ensure that it’s safe.”

“Which means that my brother would stay a zombie for a while,” Liv says quietly. Her movements slow as she tries to process the decision, taking a deep breath. “I guess you’re right. A zombie brother is much better than a dead brother, even if he’s not thrilled with the idea of being an undead creature of the night.”

Ravi nods, slipping a pair of examination gloves onto his hands with a snap. “Who knows, he might think that being a zombie is cool,” he says. “I mean, I thought you were pretty cool when I found out what was going on.”

Liv rolls her eyes good-naturedly and pulls on a pair of gloves as well. “Not everyone can be as much of a  nerd as you,” she says. “Now, who do we have here today?”

Ravi lets Liv slip over to the hospital at lunch, telling her she can have the rest of the afternoon off as well as the next few days. “It’s going to be an experience for those doctors to get blood out of you, if at all,” he explains. “You might be there for a long time.”

Liv snorts. “I don’t think I’ll be there long enough to merit having _days_ off, Ravi.” She whisks her lab coat off her shoulders and onto its hanger. It dangles at a jaunty angle.

“You might feel differently after the procedure actually happens,” Ravi replies, resisting the urge to flick something at Liv. Fortunately for her, there’s nothing sanitary to fling across the room. “Knowing the brains you’re on and also your personality, you’re probably going to get super antsy when things don’t turn out as fast as you think they will, and then you’ll berate the doctors for doing a subpar job when you can do it better than them.”

“I just give them pointers,” Liv says, shrugging on her jacket. “Most of the time they’re appreciative. In their own way.”  She grins at him cheekily. “I’ll let you know when I’ll be back in?”

Ravi nods his assent, flashing a thumbs up before returning back to the body at hand.  Which—this brain would probably be a bit easier on Liv’s system, given everything she’s going through. The brain of a monk from the local Buddhist temple is bound to be an improvement over the noisiness of a brain with ADHD.

“Hey Liv,” Ravi says absently. “Before you go, there’s a brain for you—“

“For… Liv?”

Ravi freezes. He turns to look at the doorway where Clive is standing, head cocked. “You were saying you had a brain… for Liv.”

“Um,” Ravi says. “I uh, well. You see, Liv’s got this project where she’s analyzing the brains of some of the victims and that requires her taking them out of the skulls—“

“She _does_ know that’s against PD policy, right?” Clive steps carefully down the stairs and loops his fingers through his belt loops. “Which, you’ve been enforcing, _right_?”

“Erm.” Ravi twitches. “How’s the cleanup after that explosion going?”

Clive narrows his eyes, but appears to humor the sudden subject change. “It’s been slow,” he says. “Especially since some of my colleagues have decided to drag their feet on getting a ballistics test on Major.”

Ravi swallows with a click. “Well… can I say something about that?” He tries not to bounce on the balls of his feet. Clive purses his lips, but motions for him to continue. “I, uh. There’s something I have to tell you. About Liv. And Major. And all the stuff that happened that night.”

“Okay,” Clive says slowly, crossing his arms. “Lay it on me.”

“You might want to sit down,” Ravi says, pulling out a chair. “It’s a lot to take in.”

 

 

 

“So what you’re telling me,” Clive says, squinting his eyes and scratching his head, “is that Liv is a zombie—“

“A good zombie,” Ravi says emphatically. “A very good zombie.”

“Okay, Liv is a good zombie,” Clive continues, smacking his lips, “and the people that Major killed at Meat Cute were not good zombies.”

“Right,” Ravi says. “Because they killed homeless teens and also an astronaut for their brains.”

“Because they killed homeless teens and also an astronaut for their brains,” Clive parrots, leaning his head into his hand. “Wow. This…. is something.”

“You’re telling me,” Ravi says. “I’ve been trying to work on a cure to help Liv out, but she used it up on Blaine and Major.”

“And Blaine is the head of the bad zombies,” Clive says, pointing absently at a spot on the table. “The reason why homeless teens have been disappearing all throughout Seattle.” He traces a circle on the tabletop.

“Correcto,” Ravi says, snapping his fingers as he stands up. “Would it help if I got a whiteboard? Drew some diagrams? I know you guys have a whiteboard upstairs in the bullpen—“

“It’s alright,” Clive says, waving his hands in resignation. “If we had a whiteboard up with all these details on it, who knows who could walk by here and see.” He leans back in his chair and lets out a sigh. “So, Liv’s a good zombie, Blaine's a bad zombie who is now human, his goons are dead thanks to Major, and… Major has a body count on his hands.”

Ravi grits his teeth. “Right,” he says. “And it looks really bad for him, so this is where I need your help.”

Clive looks at him for a beat before the pieces start to click into place. “I can’t,” he says slowly, crossing his arms. “There's no way…”

“Please,” Ravi says, clasping his hands together. “Major could use a self-defense argument, something, anything! He’s been so down lately, obsessed with this zombie thing, and then he just found out that Liv has been a zombie and he’s been taking this so badly, there has to be some way we can make things a little easier for him!” He takes a deep breath. Maybe Buddhist monk brains would be better for him at this point. “Please, Clive, you’ve got to help me with this.”

Clive is silent, save for the sound of his finger tapping against the arm of the chair he’s sitting in. He starts to twist the swivel chair, and Ravi can almost see the gears turning in Clive’s head. “I… will see what I can do,” he says. “I’ll call off the gun residue test first, but if anything from forensics links him to the scene, we’re going to have to do a lot more legwork.”

Ravi breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you! If it were professionally appropriate, I would hug you right now.”

Clive looks at him funny. “Uh,” he says. “I’d prefer if you…” he motions to Ravi’s lab coat. “It’s.”

“Oh, right,” Ravi says, taking a step back and chuckling. “Right. Viscera and hugs don’t mix very well.”

* * *

Major’s sitting on the couch blankly staring at the TV when Ravi gets home. There are two containers of take-out sitting on the coffee table and from the look of them, they’re both still warm. The launch screen for Diablo is splashed across the TV, “press start” flashing in ominous letters. Ravi blinks in surprise, almost missing Major visibly rein in his emotions and plaster a smile on his face.

“Hey roomie,” he says. “Grab a controller and then get ready for a night of revelry because we’re kicking some digital ass!”

Ravi chuckles a bit at the theatrics, smiling at Major’s outspread arms. “I take it job searching has gone well?” he says as he heads into the kitchen to grab a few napkins and some utensils. “Or did you get Helton Shelter to take you back?”

“I’ve been looking at applications all day,” Major says from the living room. It’s fairly clear that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject. “So allow me to destroy some brain cells with some pixelated violence.”

Ravi snorts as he walks back into the living room, placing the chopsticks and napkins down on the glass of the coffee table. “Yeah, yeah, what about me and my needs?” he jokes.

“What _you_ need,” Major says, getting up to head to the kitchen, “is to stop whining and get your gamer hat on because we’ve got a long night of roommate bonding ahead of us.” He motions for Ravi to hurry up. “I also don’t want to do this bonding with cold food.”

“Noted,” Ravi says. “Let me put my stuff away.” He skips up the stairs, pushes open his door and drops his bag near his desk.

“Movie afterward?” he yells, considering his laptop where it sits on his desk.

“Sure,” Major says, voice echoing back up the stairs. “Just hurry up!”

Ravi smiles before grabbing his laptop, mouse, and charger cord and nearly tripping back downstairs. “I might need you to get my mousepad for me,” he says to Major as they’re both about to sit down. “I’m a little scared I might end up dropping all of this stuff I’ve been juggling.”

“Sure thing,” Major says, getting up again and heading up the stairs. He clomps back down a few seconds later, brandishing Ravi’s mousepad at him. “Seriously? A Union Jack?”

“Like there’s anything wrong with that,” Ravi says, making a dismissive gesture. “Now hurry up and sit your ass down, we’ve got dungeons to raid and food to eat!”

 

 

 

They’re halfway through a mission when Ravi springs the good news on Major.

“So Clive isn’t going to be going through with that ballistics test on you,” he says as his character destroys a monster rather aggressively. The oversized mutant snake lets out a vicious hiss as it dies.

“Oh,” Major says, distracted. “I didn’t even know he was going to.” He mashes at a button feverishly before throwing his hands up in defeat. “Man, the healer in our party sucks.”

“If I could help you out with that, I would,” Ravi says, chewing on a rather large bite of noodles. “I’m just a witch doctor.”

“Okay, so why isn’t Clive running a ballistics test on me anymore?” Major asks, turning to face Ravi as he waits for his character to respawn. “…Did you tell him about zombies?”

Ravi curses as his character is killed by a demon. “Um,” he says, taking a swig of water. “Yes? But before you get upset with me, if I didn’t tell him you would’ve been put away for killing people in cold blood.”

“Bad people,” Major grumbles, turning back to the TV. He’s silent for a few more minutes before his features soften out. “Thanks for having my back, Ravi.”

“Sure, mate,” Ravi says cheerily, bumping his shoulder against Major’s. Major smiles, and Ravi suddenly realizes how much he’s missed nights like this—nights pre-zombie-obsessed-Major, when Major was still blissfully unaware of the undead evils that went thump in the night and ate the brains of homeless teenagers. He sighs wistfully. “I’m feeling all Diablo-ed out,” he says. “You still up for a movie?”

“Just nothing involving job searching,” Major says as he exits out of the game. “Which, I realize, shouldn’t be hard because who’s ever made a movie about a job search?”

“You could be the first,” Ravi teases as he opens his browser and looks for something to watch. “How about something we’ve seen before, just for a great ending to a great night?”

Major leans into Ravi’s space to look at the screen. “Inception?” he asks, turning to look back up at him. “Sounds good to me.”

Ravi can feel the blood coursing through his cheeks at their proximity. “Uh,” he splutters, “do you want to get the HDMI cable?” He lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when Major stands up, suddenly aware of the lack of heat from another body pressed up against his.

 

 

 

The movie starts to drag after the train barrels through Cobb’s dreamscape. Ravi’s exhausted from a long day at the morgue, and he’s run out of snarky comments to make about the events of the story. He also realizes that he’s unconsciously inched closer and closer to Major throughout the movie so far. Major, who has folded inward on himself and sits with his legs folded to his chest, toes gripping the edge of the couch cushion like an owl. Ravi can feel his heartbeat ratchet up a notch when he makes up his mind to break the silence. He leans his head against Major’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he says quietly. He can feel Major shift under his ear, but he doesn’t get pushed off. Point one, Chakrabarti.

“Hey,” Major says softly, leaning his weight back against Ravi’s. Their bodies press against each other. The heat from Major’s torso leeches its way through Ravi’s shirt in a glorious soft warmth. It almost feels like the summer Seattle sun.

“You okay?” Ravi asks. He’s not really sure what he’s expecting, especially catching Major off-guard with this sudden intrusion into his private life. Even though they live together, Ravi still doesn’t know too much about Major other than the fact that he and Liv used to be an item. He’s starting to catch on to some of Major’s tells, but sometimes his signals are hard to interpret.

“Yeah,” Major says after a beat. “Like I said before, thanks for helping me out with Clive.” He sighs, rolling his shoulders, carefully enough so as to not disturb where Ravi’s slumped against him. “I’m a little disappointed that it didn’t seem as big of a deal to let Clive know, but… whatever.”

“Liv doesn’t know I told him,” Ravi says, finally lifting his head. “Do you think she’ll be upset with me?”

Major looks squarely at him, blue eyes glittering in the light of the television. “Maybe at first, but she’ll come around.”

Ravi looks back at Major, returning his gaze. He feels his breath get caught in his throat. The sounds of the movie slowly quiet and all that he can see is his friend’s eyes. He’s vaguely aware that they’re moving closer and closer, and is this really something he should be doing? He’s still with Peyton, but she’s been gone nigh a week without a peep… Major’s eyes flutter closed, but Ravi turns away with a cough.

“I’m going, uh, to clean up and then get to bed. Lot of work to do tomorrow,” he says, scrubbing nervously at his beard. Major blinks at him, but leans back into the couch and nods.

“Alright,” he says. “Don’t worry about the boxes, I’ll take care of those.”

“Cool,” Ravi says, picking up their glasses and heading towards the kitchen. “Night.”

“G’night,” Major says. Before Ravi enters the kitchen, he swears Major lets out a little disappointed breath.

* * *

 

Liv is unsurprisingly not at the morgue when Ravi gets in the next morning, blearily drinking his third cup of coffee. The incident the night before with Major had stressed him out more than he’d originally thought especially since technically, he and Peyton were still an item. She still had yet to contact him after Liv’s zombie reveal, or even apologize for missing their trip down to California. Ravi sighs quietly before tossing his coffee cup into the waste bin underneath his desk. It lands with a soft clop.

He heads towards the fridge to inspect the Buddhist monk brains, and then turns to check on his de-zombified mouse. The mouse has yet to acquire a name, especially with Hope’s ill result so fresh in his mind. Fortunately, the specimen is still alive, scampering around it cage and drinking from its water bottle greedily. Ravi pens a few notes in his notebook before taking stock of what needs to be done for the day.

He’s stitching up a body when Liv texts him. _Transfusion was SUPER LONG, but it worked! Evan’s doing okay and should be up later today. I’m a little woozy but I’ll be back tomorrow—I figure I’ll break the news to him when he wakes up after my mom leaves the room_.

Ravi smiles to himself, slipping his gloves off and pushing the body back into its drawer. He scrawls the person’s name on the nametag for the drawer, and jumps when he hears a knock against the doorway. Major gives him a shiteating grin, holding a couple sandwiches.

“Hey,” he says cheerily. “I brought you lunch.”

Ravi’s lips quirk into a smile as he crosses the room to take one of the sandwiches from Major’s hands. “Thanks,” he says. “It was kind of a rough morning for me—I didn’t sleep well and forgot to pack some food.”

“Pfft, like leftover Thai takeout is hard to pack,” Major ribs, following him to the little break nook. “Is it a little weird that I’m not super bothered by the smell down here anymore?”

“Maybe a little,” Ravi says, sitting down and freeing the sandwich from its wrapper. He takes a quick peek inside the bread to try and see what Major’s gotten him, and is pleasantly surprised when he figures out it’s a chipotle chicken. “What did I do to deserve my favorite sandwich?”

“You kicked my butt and got me out of bed,” Major says through a mouthful of ham. “And you’ve been a great friend to me, even though I’ve kinda treated you like shit.” A speck of mayonnaise lingers on his chin.

“Well, I did tell you I was going to get you out of the post-resurrection funk,” Ravi says, trying to resist looking at the dressing on Major’s face. “I’m sure it’s kinda weird to die and then come back to life. And then come back to life again.”

Major nods silently, wiping at his face with a napkin. Thankfully, he gets the spot of mayonnaise. Ravi lets out a small breath of relief. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do about my job now, though. I kind of want to go back to Helton, but at the same time I want to start something new. It’s weird having been dead for like… an hour.”

Ravi looks at him suspiciously. “I thought you said you were looking for jobs all yesterday.” He takes a bite of his sandwich and chews while Major bites his lip.

“I… was?” Major says uneasily. “What I just said was kind of a big picture thing. Y’know. Larger career goals.”

“Right,” Ravi says skeptically, patting at his mouth with his napkin. He looks at the rest of his sandwich pensively. “Do you think Peyton’s coming back any time soon?”

Major freezes, sandwich halfway to his mouth. He blinks at Ravi before putting his food down. Ravi thinks he looks a little guilty. “Um,” he says eloquently. “I… don’t really know. She and Liv are pretty close, so I’m really surprised that she bolted after finding out that Liv was a zombie.”

“That’s what I thought,” Ravi says, tapping his fingers on the table. “But it’s been almost a week now and still no word.”

“I’m a little pissed with her, to be honest,” Major says, fiddling with the sandwich wrapper. “Not only did she bail on Liv, she also skipped out on that trip with you down to California. And I mean, tickets down there from here aren’t that expensive but that’s still quite a lot of money that you burned on it.” He takes Ravi’s silence as permission to keep going. “I think you should move on.”

“What?” Ravi says. He pushes his chair back from the table. “I’m… not sure that would be the best idea. And I’m a little surprised that’s coming from you, especially with how long you’d been hung up on Liv after she broke things off with you.”

Major shrugs, taking another bite of his food. “Being turned into a zombie gives you another perspective on life,” he says a little too nonchalantly. Ravi huffs.

“Well thanks for that astounding insight, Dalai Zombie, but I think I’m going to keep believing in my girlfriend.” He thinks he maybe emphasizes the “girlfriend” part of his quip a little too hard, because Major swallows and then looks down at the table.

“Sorry,” he says awkwardly. “I didn’t mean—um. I’ll see you at home.”

Major clears his spot in a flash and is out of the morgue before Ravi realizes he hadn’t thanked him for the food.

 

 

 

Ravi’s still feeling a little crappy about the way he handled lunch with Major when Liv calls. The buzzing of his phone cuts through the melancholy silence, and he quickly strips off his gloves when he sees Liv’s name on his phone screen.

“Hey,” he says genially, trying to sound chipper. Liv’s life has been a shitstorm recently, and he doesn’t need to add his personal roommate problems to her melting pot of issues. “How’re you? How’s your brother?”

“That’s what I was actually calling you about,” Liv says mysteriously. Ravi can hear her footsteps as if she’s pacing in the hallway. “I’ve been wearing a strip in the Harborview’s linoleum trying to come up with a theory as to what’s happened.”

“What do you mean?” Ravi says slowly. “What happened?”

“Well, here’s the thing,” Liv says excitedly, voice dropping to a whisper. “The blood transfusion went fine. The doctors were a little mystified by my absurdly low blood pressure, but I was able to pass it off as a family thing. Then, I was prepared to go off on a wild explanation as to why Evan was super pale and woke up craving brains, but when he came to he looked fine. His blood pressure was normal, pulse was normal, and he didn’t look like a zombie at all! He did mention wanting to eat meat a lot more than usual, but other than that he looks fine. So… maybe there are some people who are immune to zombie-ism?”

Ravi blinks as he tries to process the information. “Well,” he says, still lost in thought, “maybe there’s partial immunity? Evan isn’t presenting any of the physical traits of being a zombie, but you mentioned that he has a stronger-than-normal desire for meat, right? How insistent is he on having it?”

There’s a pause on Liv’s end. Ravi can hear her breathing lightly through her mouth as she thinks. “Um, he’s pretty set on having it. My mom caved and dropped almost twenty bucks on the clam and pancetta pizza from [Serious Pie](http://www.seriouspieseattle.com/virginia). I’m not sure if he’d follow in the footsteps of nature’s greatest carnivores and go hunt for his meal but to be safe, when he gets a craving it should probably be satisfied.”

“Probably would be best to not test your carnivorous hunter hypothesis,” Ravi muses, “especially in the urban jungle of Seattle."

Liv coughs back a laugh. “That’s for sure,” she says. “By the way, thanks for helping me out with my… dilemma about this situation. I’m really glad that my brother is alright.”

“I’m glad too,” Ravi says, maybe a little too wistfully. “So does this mean you’re coming back to work tomorrow?”

“As much as I love spending time with the living, the dead don’t really talk,” Liv jokes. “It’s maybe one of the things I miss the most about the morgue. I just do autopsies, eat brain food, and then sew people back up. No conversation, no arguments about my lifestyle choices.”

Ravi chuckles, grinning as he smushes his phone between his cheek and his shoulder. “By the way, I have some Buddhist monk brains for you. I’m sure having the brain of the quietly enlightened will make your life a little easier at this point in time.”

“Excellent,” Liv says. “While I love the energy from this brain, it’s really draining and my thoughts are super noisy and all over the place. Speaking of noise, did you know that pilots who flew B-17 bombers in World War II were sometimes [killed by their own farts](http://www.heptune.com/farts.html)? Not because of the sound, but because their cockpits weren’t pressurized so the gas expanded and made their guts explode!”

Ravi wrinkles his nose. “I think you might need those monk brains very, very soon.”

“Shut up,” Liv says. “You try living with a brain on ADHD for a day and see how easy it is.”

* * *

 

Major’s car is in the driveway when Ravi gets home. He’s still a little upset with himself for being such a jerk during lunch, and is very hesitant when opens the front door.

“Major?” he calls. “I’m home.”

The house is silent. Ravi looks around in the foyer before closing the door with a curt snick. “Hello?” he says. There’s a faint thump from upstairs, followed by light cursing. Ravi blinks. “Um, Major? Is that you?”

He pads quietly up the stairs when he hears another thump, and something that sounds like a sniff. The noise is coming from the bathroom, so Ravi heads that way. He’s not ready for what greets him in the doorway.

Major’s standing in front of the sink, clutching at the counter like a lifeline. One of his fists is dripping blood in a slow rhythm onto the floor, and the mirror is cracked in a spot where it was definitely _not_ before. Major’s eyes are squeezed closed.

“Major?” Ravi asks quietly, knocking slightly on the door to announce his presence. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Major says, still gripping the counter. This only aggravates his wound more, and blood pearls along the network of cuts that trace their way along his knuckles. “Can you leave me alone? I just… need some time to myself.”

“Not with your hand in that condition,” Ravi says matter-of-factly, reaching for the first aid kit underneath the sink. “C'mon, let me take care of this for you.”

Major pulls away when Ravi reaches for him, but he doesn’t make any attempt to leave the bathroom—he just sits glumly on the toilet lid and places his injured limb on the counter. Ravi shakes the hydrogen peroxide in its brown bottle, wets a cotton ball on the top, and dabs gingerly at the cuts. Major hisses in pain but bites back any further exclamations. Ravi works methodically, cleaning from one side of Major’s hand to the other. By the time he’s done, three pink cotton balls have found their way into the trash. Major’s hand is still an angry red though, and he swallows hard when Ravi pats a bandage onto his knuckles. Ravi lets his hands linger over Major’s.

“So why’d you hit the mirror?” he asks quietly. Major makes a strangled noise before pressing forward against Ravi, hugging him tight. Ravi’s a bit surprised, but he moves his hands up and down Major’s arms. “Hey, c’mon buddy, tell me what’s up.”

Ravi can feel Major swallow against his stomach as if he’s preparing to start talking, but there’s silence. A few moments later though, Major opens his mouth. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he whispers. “I’m supposed to be dead. I keep looking myself in the mirror, and seeing myself dead. The girl of my dreams is a zombie, and she didn’t think it was important enough to tell me until right before I died. I just… don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” Ravi feels something wet against his shirt, and when he looks down, he realizes that Major’s crying. His eyes are squeezed shut, face, scrunched to contain any stray emotions that might let loose at any moment.

“Hey,” Ravi says softly, pushing against Major to stand him upright, brushing away some tears with his thumb. “It’s okay to feel lost. Like you said, you died, but you also came back to life. You got a second chance as a human! And that's incredible. Not many people can claim that.”

Major laughs wetly. “I guess so,” he says.

“And I, for one,” Ravi continues, “am so, so, _so_ glad you are alive. You remember when you got beat up in jail? I was scared for you. I was so worried about you, Major, because you threw yourself at the zombie thing without regard for your safety, and those days that you didn’t come home? I was terrified. Your being at the mental hospital was one of the hardest things I had to go through, because I wanted to tell you the truth, because I wanted you to steer clear of all of this and be safe.” He takes a ragged breath, and looks back up at Major, who is staring at him with his striking blue eyes. “I was worried because in this short time, you’ve become really important to me.”

Major lets out a short breath before surging forward, capturing Ravi in a searing kiss. His hands cradle Ravi’s face like he’s something precious, burning against his skin like a red hot brand. But before he can respond, Major’s pulling away, face a brilliant red.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I, uh. That…”

He and Ravi stare at each other a bit before Major steps awkwardly out of the bathroom and into his own room, shutting the door. Ravi slumps against the wall of the bathroom, gently touches his lips.  He’s surprised to realize that he had wanted to kiss Major back, to show him that he’d meant every word. To show him that he really cared, and that he—he might actually love him. Ravi groans, covering his eyes with his hands.

World, one. Chakrabarti, zero.

* * *

 

Ravi wakes with a start as his alarm jingles petulantly on his nightstand. The morning air is quiet and still, and he takes a sniff. Something seems a little off to him, but he puts it in the back of his mind as he swings himself out of bed and makes his way down to the kitchen. After putting two slices of bread in the toaster, he turns to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup only to realize that it hasn’t been turned on. The empty carafe stares back at him blankly, and things finally fit into place. Ravi sighs as he fumbles around for the bag of ground coffee beans.

Normally, Major would have been up. The smell that had been missing was the coffee that Major would have already started. There was nothing attractive or coordinated about Ravi in the mornings, as Major would gladly testify to. And… Major. Ravi sighs again as he leans against the counter, bitterly watching the coffee machine as it starts to slowly fill the carafe with black gold.

Major hadn’t come out of his room after the incident the night before, regardless of the coaxing techniques Ravi had employed. In fact, Major didn’t even eat dinner until well after Ravi went to bed—something Ravi knew solely because he had turned out his lights and stayed awake long enough to make sure his roommate had eaten _something_.

When the coffee pot is full enough, Ravi pours out two generous mugs and prepares them both with the appropriate amount of milk and sugar. Wincing a little at the heat against his hand, he moves carefully up the stairs, trying not to spill any coffee on the ground. He curses quietly once he reaches Major’s door, two coffees in hand and no method of knocking.

“Major?” he says hesitantly. There’s no response, but he can hear Major shifting on his bed. “Major, I’m… I. Um. I made you coffee. And I um. I guess I’ll leave it outside your door for you.” He awkwardly places the mug on the floor, pursing his lips and hoping to God that it doesn’t go cold. “I’m sorry about last night.”

There’s still no response when Ravi goes down the stairs.

* * *

Liv is the picture of tranquility when Ravi steps into the morgue. Her body moves gracefully as she prepares herself another tongue-scorching bite of brains in the small break area.

“Morning,” Ravi says, trying to summon some air of positivity.

“A good morning to you, Ravi,” Liv says, smiling at him. The gesture is warm like sunshine, and Ravi can’t help but grin back. “How are you on this fine Seattle day?”

“I… am fine,” Ravi says after a beat. “More importantly, how are you?”

Liv stretches her arms above her head and makes a content sound. “My head is so quiet, I love it,” she says. “And I almost forgot what it was like to be able to really take things in without my attention flitting around like a toddler on a sugar high.” She takes a deep breath. “By the way, Evan is coming by the morgue during lunch. I told him all about zombies, and he agreed with me that he should submit himself to science for the sake of humankind.”

“Dramatic,” Ravi says, reaching for his lab coat. “Did he get his meat fix already?”

“Bacon this morning,” Liv says, licking a bit of hot sauce off her fingers. “He’s bringing us food, so I told him to take care of his own unique dietary needs.”

“Excellent,” Ravi says as he reaches for the box of gloves. “As much as I kind of want to see the carnivorous human hunter in action, I don’t want to be a victim.”

“ _Nobody_ wants to be a victim,” Liv says profoundly.

 

 

 

 

Evan walks into the morgue a little past noon, a paper bag from Chipotle in his hand. “I got myself meat, before you ask,” he says, rolling his eyes at Liv. “Chicken for you, and vegetarian for Ravi, since I wasn’t sure.”

The smell of the food is mouthwatering, and Ravi hastily strips off his gloves. “Thank you very much,” he says as he takes his burrito from Evan. “I really appreciate it.”

“Well,” Evan says through a mouthful of his own burrito, “it’s the least I can do for you since you’re going to be helping my sister get back to being a human.” He pauses mid-sentence. “Though, it _is_ cool that she’s an undead creature of the night.”

Ravi smirks. “I knew your brother would be okay with this!” he says. Liv snorts from the counter where she’s sprinkling her burrito bowl with bits of brains and plenty of hot sauce.

“Gloating, while temporarily satisfying, won’t get you anything in the long run,” she says.

Ravi scoffs. “Y’know, I think I miss ADHD brain you. Though the peaceful you is a welcome change, you still manage to be insulting. In a deep way, which is kind of impressive.”

Liv shrugs. “What can I say? I’m embracing what life is throwing my way right now.”

“Case in point,” Ravi says, pointing at her accusingly with his burrito.

“So what tests are you going to be running on me?” Evan asks after a bit of silence. “I’m assuming there’s going to be some bloodwork, although I’m not sure how that’s going to work since I have some of Liv’s zombie blood in me now.”

“Well,” Ravi says, wiping his mouth, “I’ll look at your blood, some of my own, and then some of Liv’s. Hopefully there will be enough difference between all three to come up with some sort of explanation for what’s going on.”

“Don’t be disappointed if no answer presents itself,” Liv say sagely, chewing her food carefully before cocking her head. “Man, I think this monk was annoyingly enlightened.”

“You can say that again,” Evan grumbles.

 

 

 

 

It’s easy enough to get a couple samples of blood from Evan, given that his blood pressure is normal and not at zombie levels. Liv sends him home with warnings to eat meat when he feels he needs to.

“Words of wisdom,” he says sarcastically as he walks out of the morgue. “Don’t worry, I won’t resist my caveman urges.”

Ravi waves after him before picking up the blood samples and moving them to the lab fridge. He can feel Liv’s eyes on him when he closes the door.

“How’s Major doing?” she asks quietly when he turns around.

“Um,” Ravi says. “Well, Major and I kinda… kissed last night.”

Liv blinks. “Okay, so?”

Ravi narrows his eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

Liv stares at him for a bit before reaching for a fresh pair of gloves. “I mean, it’s legitimately fine. I understand that Major’s moved on from me and while it hurts, I really want him to be happy. Especially if it’s you that makes him happy.”

Ravi lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding in. “Okay, well, excellent. Now that I have your blessing I can rest easy.”

“ _That_ was some flavor of sarcasm,” Liv says as she pulls a glove over her right hand with a snap.

“Okay, okay,” Ravi says, walking back towards the autopsy table. “So that’s not exactly the whole story. Major and I kissed, but then I didn’t kiss him back because he pulled away really quickly saying that it was a mistake, and now he won’t talk to me.”

Liv wiggles her fingers in her gloves to test the fit. “And what kept you from kissing him back?”

“The fact that Peyton and I are technically still in a relationship,” Ravi says. “Major thinks I should get over it, which I agree with, but at the same time it doesn’t make sense to give up on someone so easily.”

Liv purses her lips minutely as she picks up the wash bottle of alcohol and sprays it on the table. The droplets hit the metal like a stream of rain. “I’m not sure what to tell you,” she says. “I’m not sure where I stand with Peyton either.”

Ravi stands in silence as he watches Liv clean the table. “I mean, she walked out on me when I saved her life, and she’s been my best friend for years! It makes me so upset that she’d just up and leave when I needed her the most.”

“Well, she _did_ tell me that you had been avoiding her,” Ravi says. He realizes a beat too late the implication and snaps his mouth shut. The air around Liv seems to shudder and she turns around, her lips pinched as she tries to breathe steadily through her nose.

“That’s… fair,” she says, voice forced.

“That was a low blow, I’m sorry,” Ravi says. “It just kinda came out.”

“I’ll live,” Liv huffs before chuckling at her own joke. Her expression smooths out and Ravi lets out another breath. “I guess the thing that you should think about is whether or not it’s really worth it to wait for Peyton.”

Ravi freezes. “I…”

“Regardless of what you say, I’m here to support you,” Liv says, tossing the alcohol-soaked paper towel into the trash.

Ravi smiles. “Thanks, Liv. I really appreciate it.”

“And I appreciate _you_ ,” Liv says. “Now let’s get started on the next body because I think I want a new brain. Not only was this monk pretentiously enlightened, he also had _serious_ anger issues.”

* * *

 

Ravi drums his steering wheel as he drives his car out of the police department garage and into the late Seattle afternoon traffic. The light glints off several of the taller buildings as they sullenly watch the gridlocked vehicles. A couple buses honk irately at the pack of cars that surround them, but other than that nobody’s really moving. Ravi turns on the radio, brushing a hand through his hair as he does so. The host talks amicably about some current events before turning their time over to the traffic reporter, who claims an accident on both the onramps to I-5 and I-90.

“Great,” Ravi says under his breath. “Just peachy.”

The cars in front of him crawl slightly forward, and Ravi groans.

“Looks like I have plenty of time to think about the Peyton issue,” he mutters, turning the dial for the radio volume. The current story on the radio has become pretty drab, so he switches the station onto classic rock, further fueling his gloomy mood.

On one hand, Peyton deserved someone to be there for her. Liv literally hadn’t been herself for months, and while Peyton didn’t need to be fawned over she was still human, and in need of friends. While Ravi didn’t personally consider himself exactly friends with Peyton, he still understood the importance of presence. But on the other hand, Peyton must have had other people to fall back on if she was able to skip town without coming back for so long. Ravi knew that Peyton’s family was based in the Seattle area so it was possible that she was still close, but if so he was confused as to why she hadn’t contacted him. He understood the importance of taking personal time, but in this relationship he had been hoping for more of a two-way street in terms of communication.

“Bloody hell,” he curses as someone cuts him off at an intersection. “Are you serious right now?”

 

 

 

Ravi finally gets home an exhausting forty five minutes later. He had agreed to live with Major primarily because their house was close to the police department—a ten minute drive without the hellhole that had been the traffic earlier. He pushes open the front door cautiously. “Hello?” he says, voice echoing in the foyer. “I’m back.”

The house is silent in response. The lights above the staircase are on, bathing the wood in a yellow glow. Major’s room's door is closed, as expected. Ravi takes a deep breath and starts walking up the stairs, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He almost falters when he reaches Major’s door, but he takes another breath and knocks on the door.

“Major?” he says. “Major, can we talk?”

There’s no answer at first, but after a couple seconds Major opens the door and lets Ravi inside. Ravi immediately notices the coffee mug from the morning sitting contently on Major’s bedside table.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” Major says awkwardly. “Look, about earlier—“

Ravi doesn’t let Major finish his sentence, pressing their bodies together. Major is caught a little off-guard by the kiss and gasps into Ravi’s mouth. The sudden gust of warm breath feels like a fire against Ravi’s tongue and he quickly pulls away, jaw wide open.

“Wow,” he says. “I, uh. That was amazing.”

Major looks a little stricken. “Um…,” he says quietly. “What was that?”

“My response to what happened yesterday,” Ravi says. “You kissed me, and then didn’t let me kiss you back.”

“I figured you wouldn’t want to cheat on Peyton though,” Major says guiltily, sinking onto his bed. “That was a huge deal for you.”

“Yeah,” Ravi says, scratching his head. “I… guess that’s something I should talk to you about. Can I sit?”

Major nods silently, patting the space next to him. Ravi sits, not quite touching Major but close enough to feel intimate. “I’m done with Peyton.”

Major’s head jerks up. “You’re what?”

“Peyton and I are done,” Ravi repeats. “I’m not going to wait for her. I’m not even sure if she’s coming back. And whenever we were together things never just clicked as easily as they do with you.”

Major worries at his bottom lip, as if trying to keep a smile from escaping. He fails miserably though, a megawatt grin breaking across his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ravi says, feeling his own lips quirk upward. “We communicate. We talk. I’m still getting to know you, but we’re friends. And I like being with you. Not only is it incredibly easy, but… I think it’s what I want now.”

Major closes his eyes and leans against Ravi’s shoulder. “Pinch me, I must be dreaming,” he says quietly. Ravi smacks his arm.

“Dreaming now?” he asks petulantly. Major kisses his neck.

“If I am, I don’t want to wake up,” he says, words warm against Ravi’s skin. “So can I take you up on that offer you gave me a week ago?”

Ravi blinks before turning to look down at him. “What offer?”

Major places his hand on Ravi’s thigh. The heat from the almost skin-to-skin contact burns through Ravi’s khakis and blood rushes straight to his crotch. “Oh,” Ravi says. “That offer. Um. Yes, but only if I can reciprocate.”

Major surges against him in another kiss—this time on the mouth—bringing his hands up to cup Ravi’s face. “Alright then,” he says, voice dropping an octave. Ravi’s cock jumps. “Let’s start the exam.”

“No doctoral dirty talk,” Ravi gasps as he falls back against Major’s bed. “My endocrinology professor was overly sexual when we went over things back in medical school.”

“Yeah?” Major asks, slithering up Ravi’s body and pressing a line of kisses up Ravi’s neck. “So what should I tell you?”

Ravi pulls Major down against him, rolling his hips upward and reveling in the blessed friction. “Tell me,” he says, breathless, “about what you want to do to me.”

“For one,” Major says, smirking, “let’s get rid of these clothes.” He strips off his t-shirt and shimmies out of his jeans, standing on his knees over Ravi in only boxer briefs. The late evening sun streams through the window behind him and illuminates him like some sort of corny messianic figure.

“Easy for you to say,” Ravi says as he fumbles with the buttons on his shirt. “You didn’t have that much to take off in the first place.”

“Then I’ll help you,” Major says as he deftly undoes the buttons on Ravi’s khakis and sweeps them onto the floor. Soon enough they’re kissing again, skin against skin save for their underwear.

“So,” Ravi says as they reluctantly break apart, “what do you have in store for me?”

“Well,” Major says, looking upward as if in deep thought, “I’m probably going to suck your dick, feel your balls, and then I’ll ride you so hard you won't want to leave my bed until tomorrow morning. Sound good?”

Ravi’s dick twitches with anticipation through his underwear. He can feel where Major’s pressed against him, arousal long and already hard. “Yes,” he stutters, running his hands up and down Major’s sides. “That sounds absolutely brilliant.”

“Thought so,” Major says. He kisses Ravi again before licking one of Ravi’s nipples, flicking at it with his tongue.

“Oh my god,” Ravi says. “I knew that was supposed to feel good in theory, but nobody told me about _this_.”

“Books aren’t going to tell you everything,” Major says as he tongues at Ravi’s other nipple. He then licks a stripe down Ravi’s olive skin, closer and closer to the waistband of Ravi’s underwear. Ravi bites back a groan.

“Get back up here and kiss me you fool,” he says. Major chuckles before making his way slowly back up Ravi’s body, mouthing at every inch of skin. When they’re finally kissing again, Ravi grabs Major’s ass with both his hands and squeezes. Major lets out a moan and breaks the kiss, breathing heavily and grinding his hips downwards on Ravi’s cock.

“Bet you’ve never been manhandled like this before, big guy,” Ravi says with a smirk.

“Shut the fuck up and take my underwear off,” Major grumbles against Ravi’s lips. “And then get naked because I need to be on your dick like yesterday.”

“Bossy,” Ravi teases as he sticks his hands underneath Major’s waistband to grab at his cock. It pulses warmly against his hand, and Major groans into Ravi’s shoulder.

“I swear to God,” he says, voice breathy, “Take off my goddamn underwear and do _something_.”

“Alright,” Ravi laughs, pulling Major’s underwear towards his feet. Once it’s mostly off, Major kicks the offending article of clothing onto the floor and grabs Ravi to roll them over. “Okay, okay, I’m working on it!” Ravi says, laughing again as he kisses his way down Major’s chest.

Major lets out another groan as Ravi licks a stripe up his dick and takes it into his mouth. He flicks his tongue against the slit of Major’s dick before hollowing his cheeks and swallowing as much as he possibly can. Major throws his head back against the bed in ecstasy.

“Oh my god, Ravi,” he says, eyes closed. “Your throat feels—“

Ravi pauses in his ministrations on Major’s dick to look up at him. “If you’re still talking I must not be doing this right,” he says devilishly. He laps at the head of Major’s dick again, which earns him another round of moaning. He then moves to suck one of Major’s balls into his mouth, tickling at the skin with his tongue. Major writhes underneath him.

“God, if this is what you meant by inspecting your balls I’d have said yes to a mutual inspection sooner,” Major says, voice hitching.

Ravi smirks before letting Major free with a wet pop, kissing his way back up Major’s tanned, firm body. “So,” he says between kisses. “Are we a thing now?”

“Most definitely a thing,” Major says. “I’m really happy to be your boyfriend.”

Ravi freezes, breath rushing out of him like he’s been punched in the gut. Major’s eyebrows furrow. “What, what’s wrong?”

“I just,” Ravi stutters, “I didn’t know it’d feel this great to be you boyfriend.” He grabs Major’s hand and presses it against his chest over his heart. “My heart is racing and I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Major laughs this time, kissing him again. “Well then, let me take care of you a little before we have some more fun.” He flips them again so that Ravi’s back is against the bed and then slowly makes his way down Ravi’s body, peppering his skin with kisses and biting a little aggressively at Ravi’s hips.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ravi protests when Major sucks a bruising mark on Ravi’s left hipbone. “Also, nobody’s going to be able to see that.” He gasps in surprise before giggling when Major lunges forward to suck another hickey into his neck.

“People are definitely going to see this one,” Major growls after he’s done, kissing at the hollow of Ravi’s throat. “Now, can I get back to our originally scheduled program?”

Ravi nods, and watches as Major swallows Ravi’s dick all the way to the base. He groans, letting the sensation of warmth from Major’s throat wash through his cock and up through his body. “Oh my god, Major,” he says. “Just like that, oh yeah.”

Major’s head bobs in a slow rhythm before he gradually builds up speed. Ravi tries to watch the entire thing but eventually he’s overcome with the feeling and leans his head back against the bed. “I’m gonna come soon,” he chokes out. Major pulls off his dick and Ravi whines a bit as he feels the cold air against his skin. He shivers as Major cheekily licks at his balls.

“Well, we can’t have that,” Major says with a smirk, pulling open his drawer and taking out a condom and a bottle of lube. “We still have one more event left at this rodeo.”

“Does this make me the mechanical bull?” Ravi quips, pulling Major back against him for a kiss. Major smiles against his lips as he tears open the foil.

“I want to last more than eight seconds on this ride,” Major purrs. Ravi moans as Major slips the condom onto him. Major’s about to sink onto his dick when Ravi stops him, eyes a little wild.

“You’re not prepped,” he says worriedly. “I know you really want to ride my wonderful cock, but if you’re not ready we can take a bit more time to work you up.”

Major smiles and kisses Ravi passionately. “I appreciate the concern,” he says, “but I’m ready for you.” And with that he pushes himself down on Ravi, not stopping until Ravi can feel nothing but Major’s skin and the burning of warmth of being _inside Major_.

“Holy shit,” Ravi says, breath coming in short bursts. Major repositions himself so he’s in a kneeling position and makes a tentative movement. Stars burst in Ravi’s vision. “Oh my god, Major, you feel so good.”

“You feel so good inside of me,” Major says, leaning down to give Ravi a filthy kiss. They let their tongues chase each other for a while before Ravi gives Major a healthy smack on the ass.

“Let’s see how long you last on this ride,” he says. Major nods and slowly starts to grind his hips forward and back. Ravi can feel himself shift inside Major’s body, each new angle sending waves of sparks through him. Major moans above him, declaring the merits of Ravi’s dick.

“God you feel so good,” Major says as he presses himself against as much as Ravi’s body as he can. “I love having you inside me.”

“I love you,” Ravi says easily before blushing, hiding his face in Major’s shoulder. “This is so embarrassing, we basically just said I love you and haven’t even been on a proper date.”

“All those gaming nights before didn’t count?” Major asks breathlessly as he continues to rock back and forth. “Holy shit, I’m gonna come.”

Major reaches down towards his cock, but Ravi bats his hand away. “If you’re coming while on this ride, I’m going to give you a hand,” he explains. Major just curses at him, letting Ravi wrap his hand around Major’s dick and stroke him in time with his thrusts. Ravi starts panting heavily as he feels himself getting closer as well, a warm burn slowly unraveling itself in his stomach. Major tightens around him as he comes with a shout, moaning Ravi’s name against his chest. Ravi follows soon after, whimpering Major’s name into his mouth as they kiss. Major then slowly pulls himself off Ravi’s cock, whining a little at the absence as Ravi takes the condom off and throws it into the garbage.

“Wow,” he says as they both settle back onto Major’s bed. “That was amazing.”

“ _You’re_ amazing,” Major says as he kisses Ravi deeply, hands stroking against Ravi’s beard. “I’m glad that I have you in my life.”

“I’m glad to have you, too,” Ravi says. He hugs Major close to him but then grimaces at the feeling of come on their stomachs. “And while I’d love to stay in bed with you for the rest of time, I think we should probably shower. Dried spunk is never fun.”

Major sighs as he forces himself up, offering Ravi a hand once he’s upright. “Y’know what is fun though,” he says with a smirk when Ravi’s standing. “Shower sex is fun.”

“And slippery,” Ravi says as he follows after. “Very slippery.”

* * *

 

Ravi wakes up the next morning with an arm wrapped around his stomach and the smell of coffee in his nose. How Major manages to rise before the ass-crack of dawn, make coffee, and then come back to spoon him is beyond all reasoning.

“’Morning,” Major says quietly, lips brushing against his neck. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty well,” Ravi says blearily, rolling over to look at Major. He grins cheekily before pressing a kiss to Major’s mouth, relishing in the feel of Major’s as-of-yet unshaved stubble and the smell of his skin. He winces a little when he stretches himself, feeling a twinge from the previous night’s escapades. Who knew shower sex could be so incredibly amazing?

“What’re you thinking about?” Major asks, reaching for Ravi’s hand and stroking his thumb.

“How good it felt to have you up against my prostate last night,” Ravi says bluntly, enjoying how quickly Major’s pupils dilate with lust. “I swear I must have seen stars.”

“Well you probably saw the universe based on how blissed out you were afterward,” Major replies, kissing him again and moving his hands to rest at the small of Ravi’s back. “So how was your first time with me?”

Ravi kisses him in response, wrenching the covers off of the bed as he tries to extricate himself from Major’s octopus grip. “While I love you tons and really would love to be in bed with you for more raunchy adventures, I do have to get to work. Cut open some bodies, save lives, y’know.”

Major whines a bit as Ravi pulls on his khakis. “I would really like for you to spend all day with me in bed and have raunchy adventures.”

Ravi kisses Major quickly on the forehead before padding to the doorway. “But what about you? What are you going to do all day?”

Major looks a bit guilty before pulling himself upright to sit against his headboard. “I guess I should look at job applications, or maybe even try getting back to Helton. I was thinking about what you told me about my second chance at life, and I can’t say I’d be happy with myself if I passed it up.”

Ravi can feel the smile break out across his face and before he knows it, he’s jumping at Major and kissing him soundly on the mouth. When they pull apart, Major looks at him, dumbfounded.

“What?” he says.

“I’m really happy that you’ve finally picked yourself up,” Ravi says, searching for Major’s hand and giving it a squeeze with his own. “It was tearing me up to see you just moping around.”

Major looks at him innocently before snaking a hand down Ravi’s pants and against his crotch. “So does this newfound wave of affection mean you’ll spend all day with me in bed having raunchy adventures?”

Ravi fixes him with a scowl before pinching Major on the butt fondly. “You better get yourself ready for when I get home,” he drawls, pulling Major’s hand out of from against his underwear. “Just you wait.”

 

 

 

When Ravi gets to the morgue, Liv is strolling around one of the autopsy tables chewing on what looks like brain bruschetta. She waves cheerily at him.

“G’morning!” she says brightly.

“Morning,” Ravi replies, shedding his coat and reaching for his lab coat. “Who and what are you snacking on there?”

“Jane Doe, died of blunt force trauma to the head,” Liv says through a bite of food. “Didn’t bruise the brains though.”

“Well it’s always reassuring to hear that we’re not as bruise-able as fruit,” Ravi snorts, sliding on a pair of gloves. “It seems like she was a morning person.”

“It’s a bit of a plus,” Liv says, licking her fingers. “Finally I have a happy brain, other than the whole murdered with a tire iron deal.”

Ravi shrugs. “You can’t have your brains and eat them,” he says. Liv laughs, but stops the instant that she hears Clive joining in.

“What, can’t appreciate a well-timed zombie joke?” he says as he walks into the morgue. Liv stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Clive stares back at her in confusion. Ravi looks between them both before things fit together.

“Oh,” Ravi says, “I forgot to tell her that I told you.”

Liv breathes a sigh of relief and slumps against the table. “Warn a gal, Ravi,” she says. “I almost had a heart attack.”

Clive snorts. “Based on what Dr. Chakrabarti told me, that’d be a bit difficult in your current condition.”

Liv waves her hand good-naturedly at him, pooh-poohing the idea. “Let a zombie live,” she says, shrugging herself out of her lab coat. “I’m assuming you have an ID on our senior killer?”

Clive nods. “I was able to punch in some of the details you gave me and I have a couple suspects lined up. I just came down to see if you wanted to tag along to interview them.”

“Isn’t that part of the zombie sidekick job description?” Ravi asks, wiping down an autopsy table. Liv’s about to give him a witty rejoinder when Major walks sheepishly into the room, hands in his pockets.

“Didn’t realize we were having a party down here,” he says. Ravi smiles brightly, shucking his gloves into the medical waste box and moving to give Major a peck on the cheek.

“And to what do we owe the honor?” he says. Clive makes a thinking noise, cocking his head and twining his fingers together like meshing gears.

“How long have you two…?” he asks.

“Since yesterday,” Major says proudly. Ravi blushes furiously and puts his hand over his face. “But anyway, I just came to tell you and Liv that I got my old job at the shelter back! I told my boss about what exactly I was up to, breaking into the Candyman’s car, and she seemed pretty moved by my story so she rehired me.”

“Congrats!” Liv says, wrapping Major up in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks,” Major wheezes. “How’s your brother?”

“ _Another_ zombie?” Clive says, eyes almost bugging out of his head.

“It’s kind of a long story,” Ravi says, attempting to placate him. Clive just groans and sinks into a chair.

“I don’t think I even want to know,” he says, massaging his temple with his forehead. “I learned way more about my coworkers than I needed to in this past week.”

Liv chuckles, kicking at Clive’s shoes lightly. “C’mon, partner,” she says. “We’ve got some senior murderers to question. And we're not all that bad.”

Clive sighs, longsuffering, as he gets up slowly and walks with Liv back to the entrance of the morgue. “We’ll keep you posted,” he says to Ravi, patting the phone in his hip pocket. “Congrats on getting your job back, Major.”

Major salutes at him as they exit. “So,” he says, turning to Ravi and straightening the lapels of the lab coat, “proud of me?”

Ravi grins at him before pulling him into a hug, pressing their bodies close together. “Of course,” he says into Major's shoulder. “I’m incredibly proud of you. And I’ll be even more proud if you’ll let me take you out to lunch in a few hours.”

Major pulls back at smiles goofily at him. “I guess my boss is expecting me back to do work,” he says. “But later…” He smacks Ravi on the ass. Ravi rolls his eyes and pushes Major out the door.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://www.pleasecalibratetheguillotine.tumblr.com) if you're interested in penises touching penises, penises touching butts, general strangeness, and gay feelings!


End file.
